Do You Want To Heal?

The talented musicians of this world give me such good material to paint to, to live by, and to breathe for. The title of this piece refers to lyrics in University Drive's track 'Forever' off of their 2022 album, Heal. I can't tell you how much heart they have.

I heard this right when I needed it. I lost my dad in 2021 and have struggled to find how to really talk about it. We didn't get along. We weren't speaking. There's something difficult about fighting a war with someone for years and then it just - ends. No resolution. No peace. No goodbyes. Absolutely awful. I tried to repair our relationship and live with our differences, but was repeatedly met with anger and rejection. I can say that I tried hard enough that I have no regrets, but still carry the sadness that I'd lost my father years before he died. I wish he'd wanted to heal our relationship, but I can only move forward and try to heal myself.

Forever by University Drive
I want to be right
I want to be pure
I don't want to be crazy
I've been lost
I want to feel light
I want to be yours
I don't want to be crazy
I've been lost
I want to be right
You want to forgive
You want to forget
You want to get even
Then get lost
I want to be just
I want to stay calm
I don't want to be grieving off and on
I want to be clear
I want to be new
I want to be better off and true
I want to be right
I want to be yours
I don't want to be crazy I've been blind
I want to be right
Do you want to heal?
Do you want to heal?
(I don't want to leave you with a scar, I curse the day I came here)
Do you want to heal?
Don't you want to heal?

Do You Want to Heal? by Hanna Bruer